Motormouth: Crash test dummies scare me

The scariest crash test dummies are not the “dead” ones used for crash tests, but the “live” ones on the road who might crash into my car because they are clueless, careless or reckless.

If you go to www.crashtestdummies.com, it won't be an online portal for self-aware humanoids who share personal stories about surviving crash tests and working without hazard pay. 

Instead, it would be the official website for offbeat Canadian band Crash Test Dummies, whose quirky art-pop albums include The Ghosts That Haunt Me.

There are dummies who haunt me in Southeast Asia. I don’t mean the anthropomorphic heroes who help to make cars safer by being tortured in countless crash tests by car companies and automotive organisations such as Euro NCAP. 

I even met some of these heroic crash test dummies. They come in various shapes and sizes to represent different age groups and genders. Entire “families” can crash-test together, sometimes even involving “pregnant women”.

The dummies who haunt me are not the “dead” ones used for crash tests, but the “live” ones on the road who might crash into my car. 

These are the random drivers who drive in a clueless, careless or reckless manner.  For some reason, they tend to be driving jalopies which have seen better days. 

These live-action crash test dummies scare me, because they do their accidental best to involve me and my car in an impromptu crash test.

Crash test dummies may be safer "drivers" than their human equivalents.